Chile quirks

As I complete my third week here in Chile, I certainly have been here enough time to make some judgments about the way things run.

1.) 1) Receipts.

In this country, you receive a receipt for EVERYTHING. How much paper is wasted from this practice?? Every small mundane purchase merits a slip of proof. In the words of Mitch Hedberg, “I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll give you the money, you give me the doughnut—end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend—"Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut—I got the documentation right here! (pause) Oh wait, it's back home in the file…under 'D'…for doughnut." 'Cuz we all know that 'D' is for doughnut.”

He could not have summed it up better. Mitch Hedberg must have gone to Chile.

2.) 2) Inefficiency while making a purchase.

In Chile, most purchases are made three or four times more difficult and time consuming than necessary. For example, the other day I went to buy a piece of cardboard paper to use in my class. It cost $300 pesos, less than one dollar. The process involved going downstairs and asking for the paper. He gives me a statement of what I want with the price on it. This of course required waiting a minute for the machine to print. Then I had to go back upstairs and wait in a long line to pay for my piece of cardboard. The line could not have been moving slower. After a good 10 minutes, I got to the register and handed her my slip. She types some things and stamps and writes on the slip. Then we sit and wait a good minute for the machine to print me out another slip of paper. This is my second receipt and proof that I paid for my piece of cardboard. Next, I went back downstairs to get what I paid for. The man says that I retrieve my cardboard upstairs. So I go back upstairs and make my way through the cash register line to hand another man my new receipt. Magically, my cardboard had somehow made it upstairs, and was wrapped in a tube. The man stamped my new receipt and then of course gives me my yellow copy. I walked out at least 20 minutes later. All of this for a 300peso piece of cardboard.

3.) 3) Bus stops.

Chile has an excellent bus system. They run frequently and you can get most places you want to go around the country. I have few complaints about the busses, except for the fact that there are like a dozen different companies that often go to the same places, and there is no database or system or location where you can view where all of these companies go and their times. It seems people just sort of already know. Anyway, bus stops. When I take the bus to Melipilla, it makes several very quick stops…along the freeway. I don’t know how these people know the bus will stop there, or where they are coming from or going to when they get on. The bus will just pull over, literally on the side of the freeway and someone will get on or off. There are no houses nearby, just usually an onramp and some fields and cows. Where are they going?? Also, these are business men in nice suits, not farmers. Sometimes people even get on at the toll booth—but actually in the middle of the freeway right after the toll! So the bus gets through, and then some guy is just standing there in the middle of the road to be picked up. It’s just plain weird.

4.) 4) Weird professor man

This is not about Chile, just about a weird professor. He speaks English quite well, but seemed a bit too happy to meet Angie and me. He heard us speaking English and talked to us and said he studied abroad in Michigan many years ago. He seemed enthralled with us, especially me. He thought it was the most amazing thing he’d ever heard when I told him I studied in France. And now for the weird part: He calls me “boy.” “Hey, boy” and then he shakes my hand. Or sometimes, it’s, “Hey, how’s my boy?” Yesterday he even referred to Angie and I as ‘boys.’ Now I do believe it has been many years since he has spoken English, so I think he is trying to say ‘guys’ or something like that. But it just comes out creepy. Then he invited Angie and I to a rodeo or something, but we are going to be out of town in Mendoza, Argentina on the weekend.